A Soperific Christmas
January 10th, 2010
Family
Christmas 2009
Fans and Friends:
Don’t look so dismayed. The only people holding a hard copy of this letter are the ones who send us money every year. Console yourself with this Soper e-letter, and remember, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Elizabeth (16), also known as Elli, recently landed a 4.0 and a 19-year-old boyfriend. Mom pretends to be cool with this, although she almost passed out when she came downstairs to the family room and spotted them “sharing” a beanbag chair. Ben (15) continues to progress toward his goal of total world domination, starting with the high school debate team. (Specialty: public policy. Who would’ve thought?) His tournaments require Mom and Dad to moonlight as taxi drivers, but they’re relieved he’s finally putting his arguing skills to good use. Andrew (12) managed to weasel his way out of school for the past month with various illnesses. He’s back in the saddle now, and might even be ready to take up his fencing foil again soon. Every middle child deserves a weapon.
Christine (10) is also back to public school and trying to exercise patience with the other 5th grade girls, whose only interest is Hannah Montana. (Thanks to her sister’s obsession with Japanese anime, Christine’s tastes run more sophisticated.) Meanwhile, Matt (8) stays busy creating new incarnations of the paper airplane and plotting various ways to capture Bin Laden. Apparently, the two goals are somehow connected. Sam (6) is thoroughly bored with first grade worksheets, but loves Mr. Vierra, his super-young, super-cool teacher from Hawaii. Along with Matt, Sam daily invents new ways to dent walls and stain carpets, but his chief pursuit is competing with Dad for the most and best snuggling time with Mom.
As for me, life is a whirlwind at the ripe old age of 4. Mom and Dad were starting to get the hang of my various Down syndrome-related challenges, so this year I ramped up the intrigue with a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Delay (PDD), an autism spectrum disorder. Each week I juggle two preschool programs and several serious occupations on the home front, including advanced toilet flushing and rhythmic cabinet banging. I recently mastered the alphabet, but I refuse to utter a single word—better to maintain my rep as the strong, silent type.
Mom had a big year with two book releases: Gifts 2 (the sequel to her celebrated Down syndrome anthology), and The Year My Son and I Were Born, her memoir about yours truly. Book marketing in the midst of a recession is not for the faint of heart, but Mom came off conqueror and is looking forward to the upcoming release of Year in paperback. She’s sworn to wait a bit before starting her next book, which is good news for Dad, whose back scratching needs have been woefully neglected as of late. And I think we’d all agree that a man who works 12-hour days, tolerates 7 kids, and spins heavy church responsibilities on the side needs his scratchies.
Well, that’s all the news I’m willing to share through corrupt online communication methods. Only the chosen few get to hear the rest of the story. Repent, and you shall be rewarded in 2010.
Thomas Reed Soper
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